Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Farmer of memories
Friday, October 10, 2014
At least they wore helmets.
A few years ago, I set about trying to rebuild my young adult library of books. I've always been a bookworm and a habitual book rereader.
Around the time I became obsessed with horses, I started to devour books on horses, horse care, and such. I read with such ferocity that I truly thought we could put a horse in our small 1/4 acre lot and it would cut down on the time my dad had to now the lawn (a strikingly similar idea in Me and Katie (The Pest)).
A common theme in all these books was that a teenage or preteen girl for some reason or another comes to be the sole owner/trainer of a wild or untrained horse and in a matter of months the horse is perfectly broke, quiet, and jumping.
At the time, I thought this was reality. Now, having ACTUALLY OWNED A HORSE (and become a parent), I'm all, "What the hell?" Who let these girls all alone with a wild horse with no supervision?
But yet, I still reread them and consider them an integral part of my childhood and obsession and love for horses.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Artsy-not-so-fartsy
I'm not happy if I'm not making something. I just refinished a dining room table and I've just set it up and I'm insanely in love with it. It's an ever so slight mint green that matches a hutch I refinished this summer which matches my very first piece of honest to goodness "I'm an adult" furniture purchase of a wine rack.
There's something about that first piece of furniture you buy as an adult. It's a badge of honor. A, "LOOK AT ME, I DIDN'T HAVE TO PUT THIS TOGETHER WITH AN ALLEN WRENCH" status symbol. Since I've now refinished two pieces to match it, it's safe to say the mint green dining room suite is here to stay.
But I'm getting the niggling in the back of the creative part of my mind. You know the feeling. The itchy, buzzy, annoying spark that threatens to engulf you if you don't put it to use. I've got my sights on our bedroom walls. Don't tell my husband, but I'd like to repaint the bedroom a warm taupe-y brown. It's currently an ash grey and I think it's just time I repainted over it. Like everything in Papa B's life when I moved in, I want to erase the poor decorating choices of a single man in his twenties. He joked that he's not sure he recognizes the house anymore. I told him I'm just making it harder for his next wife to come in and not feel my presence and hand on everything.
Friday, September 12, 2014
Forty-fives
When I listen to the satellite radio on 50's on 5 or 60's on 6, sometimes I feel like I'm the only 34 year old in the world who can name the title and artist of most of what's on there. We only listened to oldies in the car growing up, so I think I have a pretty good mental library of songs from that era. It makes me feel so old and yet so young at the same time.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Tons of fun

Thursday, August 7, 2014
How we're built
Can I be proud of my body? Even though I did nothing to achieve it? Can I be proud of that body even though it's skinny? I have a flat stomach, with a bit of pooch that comes from bearing two beautiful babies. I love that it has been resilient and amazing and went right back to what it was without any prodding from me. Is it right or wrong for me to be proud of what I have even though some women spend hours upon hours trying to achieve what came naturally to me?
Sometimes, I feel skinny-shamed. That other people are telling me "I'm SO skinny" to make themselves feel better about their own bodies and choices? Are they resentful because I drew a lucky hand? Because I have literally sat on my ass and ate a tub of frosting in the course of a week and it has affected me in no way, shape or form? I never, ever comment on someone's body, positive or negative. If someone I know is working to lose weight, I support their decision and comment on their hard work and dedication, not the results. I feel like the, "You're so skinny!" comment should be met with a, "You're so fat!" or, "You're so pale!" It's just a comment on my physical appearance that has nothing to do with my character or personality. I just wish we would stop trying to build ourselves up by putting another person down. It doesn't do anything.
Friday, August 1, 2014
Rage Against the (washing) Machine
For a while now, I've been noticing an odor coming from the washer. But only when the machine is on a spin cycle. After a load finishes, I leave it open to prevent it from getting musty. Sometimes, I'll even go so far as to put a little fan in there to circulate some more air. But I still noticed the odor. People who gave me advice about this problem were convinced it was because I shut the door and it was getting smelly from there. I disagreed and ran the washer on a clean cycle. Still stunk. So, after some traipsing around the internet and various washing machine forums (yes, that's a thing!), my next step was to clean the drain hose.
HOLY SHIT.
Literally, shit. After 3+ years of cloth diapering, the sludge that had accumulated in that thing was revolting. I had a giant pipe cleaner-like device and I shoved that bad boy into one of the business ends of the drain hose. And I pulled out the grimiest, brownest, foulest goo that almost made me toss my cookies. So, lather, rinse, repeat on the other end and swish with a bit of bleach water and ta-da! No more smell!
I replaced the hose and have yet to run a new load to see if that was the problem, but I'm fairly confident that I solved the mystery of the smelly washer.
And next time, I'm just buying a new drain hose.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
I'll just pay for mine, thanks.
I'm nervous about going to a Starbucks drive thru. I'm afraid I'll be caught in one of those "pay for the car behind you" things, and knowing my luck, it'll be the office gopher getting triple venti lattes for the entire marketing department and if I don't pay for them, I'll look like a total turd.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Organic food rich, land poor.
Let me tell you, growing organic is HARD. I can see the appeal of hosing down my garden with chemicals and mind-altering drugs to keep away potato bugs, squash bugs, harlequin bugs, and stink bugs. But we choose not to. We are feeding our kids these foods, and I want to be confident that they can, at any moment, go out into the garden and pick some tomatoes for a snack. I don't have to worry about making sure the Round-up is dry before going out into the garden.
But you know what? My tomatoes aren't always pretty. They're spotty, misshapen, and I might have to flick a bug from one here and there. And they're delicious.
I can understand the appeal of subscribing to a CSA and supporting your local farmer. It seems that people are martyring themselves to be the 'most organic' and lamenting about the prices of organic food and how hard it is to eat clean, and wah wah wah. You know what? Rent yourself a garden plot and grow your own organic stuff. Then you'll see how hard it is to keep away bugs and get the pretty produce that you see in the stores every week. Even if you replace one or two of your landscaping with an edible plant, then you're taking charge of your own food. I'm a fan of Rosalind Creasy and her Edible Landscaping idea. Long ago, land was for gardening. You had space, you grew something to eat. It was the rich who flaunted their wealth with ornamental gardening. "Look at me! I'm so rich, I can use my land to make pretty knot gardens and will just buy my food from you peasants!" That attitude had remained to this day. I truly hope it changes, and people start going the way of victory gardens. I see all this development and the one thing I see is that when new houses go up, the builders plant one bradford pear tree in the front yard and call it a day. I hope, one day, developers will put in apple, pear, cherry, and peach trees as landscaping. And blueberry bushes as ornamentals that flank your welcome mat.
I'm definitely not against industrial farming. I think it's saved millions of lives. Our generation (and perhaps the one before us) may remember not getting strawberries year round. Or corn. Or salmon. People who didn't can their summer bounty perished or were malnourished in the winter. Remember the story of the grasshopper and the ant?
And for now, I'll go back to my garden and dig up some potatoes for dinner.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
One is silver and the other gold.
There's something to be said about making new friends. Today, I jaunted up to see two dear friends while Papa B and Girl C were at the farm for a few days. I decided that I needed a road trip and these ladies provided me with an excellent excuse.
My first stop was to S. She's a lawyer who pretty much drools over any and all farm goodies she is gifted with. She's smart, witty, and gorgeous. Just the way I like my women :-). Since she is a working gal, I had to leave so she could make her 12 pm conference call (did I mention how I love being a SAHM?). I then zipped over to see M and her husband C, who are staying at a hospital sponsored "family house" for families of patients. They have a set of twins who are downright off the adorable scale. The little miss hasn't gotten her walking papers yet, so I was able to visit with her husband and the other half of the twosome while M went to feed her daughter.
You know when you meet someone and you just instantly love them? Not romantically, of course, but this is how I felt when I met M's husband. He's a military guy and pretty tough as nails. He and M had been dealt a pretty crummy hand, but the way they have made it through it all with humor, love, and a bit of foul language makes my respect for them completely immeasurable. He would go to hell and back for his kids, and due to their significant medical challenges, it seems like they are halfway there. Sure, his language is salty, but the love that just pours out of him is amazing. My friend is so lucky and blessed, and for her sake, I'm thankful she has him to be the dad he is. If I were in her shoes, I'd want one just like him, too.
We had a great visit and promises to meet again to share life and its amazing bounty and wonder.
Friday, July 11, 2014
The things I won't do for free food.
But, I enjoy other types of free food. Thankfully, our property and its surrounding areas are loaded with wild edibles. I particularly love how when one food is waning another is ripening and will be ready to eat. My kids love going outside with me and picking black raspberries. Those came in first. If you're curious, there is such a thing as giving a one year old too many black raspberries. Oh, the diaper mess! But, despite the aftermath, I'd rather him stuff his face full of fruit than anything else. Next came the wineberries. If you've never had a wineberry, you're missing out! It was originally imported as an ornamental plant and from what I understand, it fell out of fashion, and it went wild. Well, I'm pretty cool with it as an invasive species since it yields me an abundance of sticky sweet red berries.
And finally, the blackberries are just starting to ripen. This morning, I took the four-wheeler out to my favorite spots to pick some. It's hard to go out with the kids in tow since little hands don't care much for getting stuck by the thorns of the blackberries. I was content to go by myself. I hit one spot and then went to the next which was a little bit more difficult to reach. So, I aimed my four-wheeler, threw it in reverse and backed myself into a huge tangle of berries, leaves, and thorns. I'm perched precariously on the bed of the vehicle, and teetering over what is best described as nature's razor wire. needless to say, my legs and arms are all scraped up (not to mention a touch of poison ivy). but I've scored a huge bowl full of berries to whip up into a blackberry cobbler.
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
UPPOTD
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
I'd forgotten how easy one kid was.
Instead, I had 4 days of peek a boo, chasing a baby up and down the steps, cars, and blocks. It was great spending time with my youngest, but I really was bored. Maybe it was because I was used to going 94 miles an hour all the time when both of them were awake. I had two glorious naps from Boy C a day, I could just toss him in the car and go and not have to worry about making sure Girl C had pottied, was dressed, and somewhat presentable to the public. I got loads of laundry done, I weeded the garden, I made scads of jams, I cleaned the house and I made a big hunk of cheddar cheese. I was so productive!
But, they came home in one piece. Smelly and grimy, but in one piece. I'm glad she had fun with Papa B and he enjoyed spending time with her as well. I'm so happy to have my baby girl back and even though the house was pretty much trashed within 6 minutes of her being home, I wouldn't have it any other way.
Saturday, June 14, 2014
UPOTD
Monday, June 9, 2014
Of size and jeans
I've been on a quest for jeans that fit me for a while now since I've put holes in a few pair in recent months. I usually would find jeans in resale or thrift shops and that suited me fine for a while. But no pair was perfect. One pair would fit in the waist, but not the thighs. Or yet another would be fine lengthwise, but the crotch would be riding up uncomfortably high. I settled on a pair or two from Aeropostale from a resale shop.
But they were a size 0.
Size 0??
In high school, I was a 6. In college I was a 4. Then 2. Now I'm a 0. My age is increasing, but my waistline is like a countdown to a shuttle launch. Now, I'm no Twiggy, but I'm slim. I have no caboose and my hipbones protrude. But there are women out there slimmer than me with no curvature. What size are they?
Are women really that vain that they care so much about the number on their tag more than they do the fact that the clothes actually fit? I really don't care about the label. I care that my pants fit, don't drag on the floor, don't show my ass crack, and make me feel as good as possible while wearing them. If the tag says 8, then fine. If it says 10, then fine. But I wish manufacturers were held to a standard like shoes or bras. Sure - there'll be variants from retailer to retailer, but at least I know what general size I am or should be.
Back to being a size 8. My mom has lost weight (probably due to her mild anorexia, but that's a whole other novel in and of itself). She needed new pants. Badly. So I bought her some pants that looked about right. Guess what size? 0. She took one look at the tag and said, "There's no way I'll fit in those!" Lo, and behold - they fit her. Of course she won't wear them because for some sick reason she likes wearing baggy ill-fitting clothes. She seems to think that martyring herself by wearing clothes that don't fit, all while sighing, "I went so many years without buying clothes for myself so you and your sister could wear new clothes..." Right. then why do I remember size 8 so vividly?
I hope that retailers don't eventually go overboard on the vanity sizing. We'll all be some variant of size 0. Or 0 to the negative power.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Love and the domestically minded mother.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Pros/con's
Pros of having another baby:
I make really, really cute humans
I have some awesome names
I love babies.
I want another one
We already have a minivan
We have the bedroom space
Cons to having another baby:
We'd be outnumbered
Financial setbacks
Delay me going back to work or school by another 3 years or so
What if it's twins?
We'd lose our spare bedroom
I've been getting rid of baby clothes
We already have a boy and a girl - zero population growth (pro?)
The current baby is still not sleeping through the night
Monday, April 21, 2014
Even farther away.
We have property in a neighboring state that has two homes on the property. Right now, we are fixing up the larger home to rent out to generate income, and slowly fixing up the smaller home to use as a summer/winter getaway. We have long considered what would spur us to move out there (4.5 hours from where we currently are). I told Papa B that I would move there under two conditions. One, I want city water at the house. As it is now, the small cabin has no running water, but that is part of the fixing up. The well is rusty and not my preferred water source. Thankfully, a city water pumping station is a few hundred yards away. Two, is I want Internet. If I am to move half a day's drive from my family and friends, then I want reliable means to contact them.
But I asked myself on our most recent trip if I would be HAPPY out there. The property is, at best, a 30 minute drive to a town. And it's not a thriving metropolis. It's a little town that boasts a Wal-Mart, Tractor Supply, and a large bridge. That's about it. If you want more civilization, then another half hour's drive is necessary. This part of the country is poor. Poor and rural. Would I be out of place here? Yes. Very much so. Would my son get a Mt. Dew addition? Probably. Would I be seen as 'uppity', because I want my children to educate themselves to their highest potential? Absolutely. Would our family be targets for theft because we would be considered 'rich' and have nicer things? Perhaps. It's things like that that give me pause about moving out there. But, for me, is how isolated I'd feel. I'd feel intellectually isolated. I'd feel socially isolated, since I think I'd have difficulty finding women who I can talk to that would stimulate me intellectually. Women who have had education, jobs, and been on a similar path that I've been on.
If there is a move in the works, it would be until the youngest C is out of elementary school. We feel that their best opportunity educationally is here (in spite of the whole school closing possibility). But it is in the back of our minds, and is yet to be decided.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Don't piss me off. I have a plan.
I swear, I'm not a sociopath. But I spend way too much of my brainticular efforts on whether or not I could successfully get away with killing someone. Who I'd pick (someone I have no connection to, so friends and family are safe :-) ), how I'd do it (not sure) and where I'd hide the body.
Every time I pass a good looking wooded hillside, I consider its suitability for body dumping. How late at night is the optimal body dumping hour? Do I use my own car?
Anyhow. Am I the only one who has these scenarios rolling around in their head?
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Unprofound post of the day
You know, sometimes in the morning I weigh myself before and after I poop. Because, you know, science.