Goodbye

There's something therapeutic about being the one to dig the hole for a deceased pet.

Not an hour ago, I made the decision to euthanize our oldest pet, Leila.  The 'queen bee' of the house, she was the feisty old lady of our menagerie.  We noticed her appetite decreasing and she was losing weight.  After bribing her with wet food and tuna over the weekend, we decided that a vet trip was needed.  She'd always been a lean cat, and her weight loss troubled both Papa B and myself.  She barely registered on the scale at the vets - she was five pounds on the nose.  Her previous weight was eight pounds, so it was a significant change over the past weeks.  The vet determined her kidneys were not just in failure, they had shut down completely.  He could have given her fluids and electrolytes which would have perked her up, but her age and the numbers from her blood work did not point to a happy outcome.

The vet tech was kind and brought in a tub of toys for Girl C to play with while I went to be with Leila. A quick needle jab and a few scratches under her chin and she crossed the rainbow bridge in peace and comfort.

It's hard explaining to a child about life and death.  I decided to be matter of face with Girl C and I told her that Leila was too sick to be alive anymore.  I could see her trying to process this information of what 'alive' meant.  And, as children do, said to me in a soft, yet profound voice, "Let's bring her home."

And that we did.

It's cold out today and I picked out a sunny spot between two trees to bury her.  The chickens did their part and were pecking at the worms in the overturned soil.  I have never dug a hole large enough for an animal larger than a hamster, so I was sort of proud of myself for this hole.  My hands were cold from the wind, and I unwrapped Leila from the towel that the vet wrapped her in.  And, as if she  knew I had done this last act of love for her, she was still warm in my cold hands and she gently warmed them for me.  I gave her one last nuzzle and arranged her in her final resting place and committed her body to the ground.

Rest easy, Leila.