It's not like there aren't any MAPS on the internet.

Beer run farm is starting to look a little like a used car lot. We have 5 cars on our property at this very moment. We caved at the end of 2011 and bought a minivan. Therefore, we had a surplus of at least one car - my Toyota Highlander. Damn I loved that car.

We also have a manly Dodge Ram 2500, and a Lexus GS400. Both sweet rides in their own right.

We decided to sell the Highlander and the Lexus to put toward the payments on the new van. My mode of choice is Criagslist. Free, easy to use, and reaches a large audience.

Large and stupid audience, I've been quick to find out.

In the ad, it is CLEARLY marked what city the vehicle is located. Now, the internet houses many things. One of which is a site that allows you to look things up. It's called Google (or Yahoo or Bing - name your engine). People email me all interested in the cars, asking questions about the condition, the mileage, cloth vs. leather interior, etc. Then, when we get down to making a time to come see the car, they ask, "Where is [blank]?"

Dude, seriously? I have several problems with this question. Namely, you're on the internet where there are millions upon millions of pieces of information available to you. One of which being a map that will clearly indicate where this car is located. The second being - do you really not know the geography of your own state?

So, I start sentences with so a lot.

So, we belong to a group that meets for playdates every Thursday. We rotate, but aren't on a very strict schedule about it. Ususally we just see who wants to host at that week's meeting. Yesterday was my day and, as usual, I spent Wednesday cleaning the house so that these other mommies don't think I'm a total slob. I liken it to cleaning before the maid comes. Which, I've only read about seeing as we do not have a maid. We just have me.

So, our master bedroom is on the main level and is easily accessible to guests. So I usually clean it when I'm in my cleaning fit. I got the bug up my rear to clean the french doors leading to our deck off the bedroom. It's cold outside, so of course I want to clean the exterior of the doors too. I do my job all nice, including squeegeing the doors so there's no streaks. I grab my cleaning tools, open the door, and quickly shut it behind me.

And then I notice my one year old making a peculiar face. And then a split second later, just about the same time she starts screaming in pain, I notice that I have shut her wee little finger in the door. So, I open the door and try to console my screaming toddler while her poor finger gets all swollen and red. Fortunately for her (and me!) the door's bite was not as bad as the bark, and after about 15 minutes of screaming of various intensities, she felt good enough to snuggle with me while I apologized profusely into her wispy blond hair.

I guess that will teach me to try to impress the other mommies with my clean house, won't it?

Why I wish I had Man Hands

We are fortunate enough to have friends who hunt quite a bit. Also, we have a few friends who contract with a few places to take deer on a nusiance permit. In any given year, we can have 8 or more deer given to us.

Initally, I wouldn't touch deer. Nope. No way. No, thank you. I had it once and that was enough for me. Well, the one time I had it, it was horribly prepared and by someone who didn't know how. He thought he did. But Papa B slowly won me over and now we eat venison almost exclusively. Chicken is our luxury food (when I can catch some in the "clearance rack" of the grocery store).

We have various methods of handling the meat. We keep the loins and the roasts intact, and the other suitable meat becomes ground venison and the rest becomes dog food.

What I absolutely hate about this whole griding of the meat process is cleaning. I hate cleaning the grinder. There's something so vile about the meat and the fat we add to the venison being washed in hot soapy water. It's like the meat bits cook in the hot water while I wash the grinder. Of course, since I have the lovely dainty hands in the relationship, this glorious task falls to me.

Which is why I wish for Man Hands sometimes. Then Papa B will clean up his own dang grinder.

Who we are

I got asked the question on a message board I frequent (frequent? Oh, heck, I live there!) if I use aliases when blogging.

I do, I guess. If you called out, "Hey Mama B!" on the street I would likely not turn around. Probably because I would think you are crazy and having a mental episode and I want to get away from you.

Once the little parasite arrives I will probably assign them a cutesy-wootsey internet nickname and call it that. Which, by the way, should make an appearance in just about 20 weeks. So, I'm halfway there! Woo! I got my first belly rub and positive identification as pregnant from a co-worker who works on a different floor. Which made me feel great! Because that means I don't look fat - I look pregnant!

The bowl of DEATH

Life on Beer Run Farm has it's menagerie of animals. Papa B got Brown Dog when he first moved out to the farm (well before I waltzed into the picture). She was a cute little 6 pound fawn pit bull puppy with a fat belly full of worms. And she smiles. Yes, really! She will greet you with her teeth bared and tail a-wagging. It can be a bit disconcerting, especially to those who have never met her before. All they see is teeth with a 60 pound dog attached to them. But right behind those teeth is a tongue that will lick you to death if you let her. Papa B didn't do so good on the personal space aspect of her training. Now, at 7 years old and a baby on the way that is something we are working on.

I digress.

She has had fantastic socialization and I think she is the kind of dog where, had she not been trained and socialized as much as she was, she could have been a shy/insecure dog. She's outgoing, friendly, loves people and other dogs.

BUT.

The weirdist things completely mess her up. Moved a piano into her house and immediately started playing? No problem. Replace her well-loved napping couch with a waterproof crib mattress (and thus eliminating the smell - genius move on my part)? Bring it on! Replace her dog bowl? OH MY GOD RUN! THE NEW DOG BOWL WILL EAT ME ALIVE! She cowers, ducks, and shakes at this new bowl. And she hasn't eaten a substantial meal for 2 days. Now, I figure our dogs have won the doggie lottery having us as owners. 10 acres, a pond to swim in, their on mattress for a bed and ground raw venison added to every meal. Yes! Fresh meat everyday! What's not to love? But still she avoided the bowl.

Until this morning. I took the bowl off the placemat that I had so lovingly put on the floor for Brown Dog's dining enjoyment and comfort. Breakfast was served.

Rain is a good thing

So Papa B had a 'manly farm project' on Sunday. We already have one rain barrel set up, but we have a large water tank that was not being used for anything at the moment, so he decided to plop it onto a flatbed trailer, back it up to the house and reroute the gutter downspout.

Sounds good, right?

It does, if you don't care that the down spout extends about 7 feet from the house to reach the tank and is being supported by plastic milk crates and duct tape.

Please pray that it rains enough that the 300 gallon tank will fill up quickly and this contraption will go away.

Things are sprouting!

And I don't just mean the garden! I'm starting to show a little, which I like to think it better than people looking at me sideways wondering if I'm fat or pregnant.

The garden is actually looking really good. Luckily, it's been rainy and we haven't gotten plagued with those damn stink bugs that eat everything and yet nothing eats them. We harvested one row of greens and canned them as well, so now Papa B will have lots of roughage come winter. Me, I'm not a greens fan, but I will happily can for him. I really hate the smell, taste, and texture of them, so I don't interact with them other than canning. There our relationship ends. The other day I mentioned that my cousin had recommended cheese to help mask the taste. So Papa B puts a slice of American cheese on his and starts shoving a spoonful toward my face. Not a cool thing to do to your pregnant wife, PapaB, not cool. I may try some heavy cream, butter and parmesean cheese later if I'm feeling adventurous. What better way to make one of the healthiest foods on the planet edible than to add lots of salt and fat! Whee!